he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
