You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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