She went from zero to smokin in five shots
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
