I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
A bitchslap is in order.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
