I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
please come you make the beer taste better
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
