my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize