god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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