So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
