his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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