just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
