Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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