How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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