i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
