I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
