I cockslap morals
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
