Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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