We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
NoShamevember. You game?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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