the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
