and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize