He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
