Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
