she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
