i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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