What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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