i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
