508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
