oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
