I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Dick very happy bro
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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