This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
