saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Randomize
