Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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