ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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