So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
