I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
