I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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