I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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