38 yer olds are good kisserssss
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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