he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
