Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
