i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
