bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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