Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
It's just like the Real World with babies
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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