He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
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