Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
