Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
