Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
