Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
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