I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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