Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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