I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
i think my cat just said my name.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
