Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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