he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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