did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
