I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
