last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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