We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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