4 words: hood of his car
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
