i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
