Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
